Flicking around the BBC news website just now, trying to avoid election reports, and the best news item this year so far leapt from the screen and slugged me in the chops.
Apparently, a man called Robert Boyd (45) from Carrickfergus has been had up for robbing ladies' underwear from a shop in Belfast whilst disguised in a hat, wig and glasses.
It's his defence that's brilliant. He claims he was involved in a role-play game at the time and was in reality a female elf named Beho. He has denied robbery but admits it may be possible that Beho stole the lingerie. Pathetic, it would've been far too big for her.
Actually, before going into the slammer, this guy should be given a medal for brightening up the dull existence of court judges so used to fuel launderers and urban gangsters.
But it raises a worrying question. Whilst I'm fairly sure I'm not, in reality, a hermaphrodite hedgehog, what actually makes me so sure? Could it be that some of our top politicians are merely fronting up as humans? Any ideas?