A nice wee sideline

I see Safeway, the big supermarket chain recently taken over by an even bigger Morrison's, has just sold its Downpatrick store to a couple called John and Helen Miskelly.

I must've been going round for decades on another planet or something because I never knew you could do this. There I've been, every Saturday, humming and hawing between Shredded Wheat and Weetabix, agonising over bagels or croissants and wondering what kind of excruciating death I might face if I return with lemon curd instead of lemon cheese, and all the time I could have just bought the whole store.

Think of the benefits. It'd be one huge extended larder. All the foods I might ever want to eat would be on hand, a mere waddle away, any time of day or night (but not Sundays 'cos, hey, I'm a Protestant).

It'd be food-on-demand. It'd be heaven.

OK, so the Miskellys are financial magnates. Meaning coins stick to them. So far, apparently, they've amassed € 97 million. That's a lot of metal. They can hardly move. I think my own limited agility might be a bit restricted if I owned even the potato bread section, never mind the whole store. But good luck to them.

I wonder if their daughter's called Miss Kelly Miskelly ...