Friday, May 18, 2007

Things that don't happen in Garvary, Part [I've lost count]

Many moons ago I used to highlight the odd quirky news item under this heading predicated on the fact that, to my knowledge, the good burghers of said village outside Enniskillen were  fine upstanding lot but perhaps no strangers to 'the quiet life'.
 
Now then, to business. Picture the scene: he and she live together and plan to marry. They book an expensive honeymoon. 24 hours later he says he'd like to stay on in the pub a while longer. She says she wants to go home. Now. He lets her. She does.
 
Exciting, eh? It goes on ...
 
She takes the keys to his employer's transit and transfers to its capacious interior every last item of his possessions - clothes, personal effects, Phil Collins CDs, the lot. Capitalising on the fact that they live by the sea - you've guessed it - she drives the van to Whitehaven harbour and pushes it into the water. The first thing he knows is he gets rung up by his boss asking why the van is bobbing around and smelling of fish.
 
Of his girlfriend our hero apparently said, "I haven't told her yet that the wedding is off, but I think she can put two and two together." Eeek.

7 Comments:

At 3:45 a.m., Anonymous Penellpe_CA said...

yes.. I think she managed to put 2+2 together....hell hath no fury yanno ;-)

 
At 3:47 a.m., Anonymous penelope_CA said...

?*%@$ tired finger typos!!!

 
At 5:10 p.m., Anonymous aileen said...

No stangers to the quiet life I'm sure but we can let our hair down occasionally John. Have you dared go to Garvary and identify yourself there. I see you as a guest of (dis)honour at a parish supper ;0)

 
At 12:16 a.m., Blogger B.U. said...

Aileen, funny enough I zoomed through yesterday afternoon, but all was quiet. I do believe I have sampled Garvary hospitality at the hands of the Mothers' Union. Excellent hosts. By the way, do you remember 'Professor' Lee, by any chance? I seem to recall he was from up your way.

 
At 6:29 p.m., Anonymous aileen said...

John
Ah now, what might have been going on behind closed doors is anybodies guess ;o)

If you sampled the hospitality you mention before Nov '87, my mother would almost certainly have been one of your excelelnt hostesses :o)

I do remember Jimmy Lee. I nearly outed him as Santa one year. I had always been told that you never got to see the real Santa and that all the ones in Wellworths and at parties were just pretending. I didn't actually realise that others weren't in on this as well and as he handed me my present at the Sunday School Christmas Party, I recognised him and exclaimed "I know who you are!" He said "Yes I'm Santa" and I was whisked away and encouraged to open my present, still not really understanding my gaffe but realsing that something decidedly fishy was going on.

 
At 11:54 p.m., Blogger B.U. said...

Aileen, you mean Santa DOESN'T exist?! My cholesterol enhancement at the hands of your MU was well before 1987 (1977 more like). I remember it well, but unfortunately not the individuals.

 
At 9:55 a.m., Anonymous aileen said...

John of course he does! - but only the one that leaves the pressies on Christmas Eve is real. :o)

If it was 1977 then she almost certainly would have included her and I might even have handed you a bun ;o)

 

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